Moondah Player Profiles for 2019

Captain courageous and extremely skilled, huge expectations are on the MCC captain for this year’s tournament as it’s the biggest and most important game of his life. Club doctors have warned him against picking anything heavy up off the ground, like a towel or GoPro, incase he does his back. A calm character, Drummond’s only ever been in one fight, when he accidentally punched himself in the head while attempting to take a catch. The third best batsman in his family, some note that he’s lucky he’s captain otherwise he wouldn’t have been selected. Test cricketers have had difficulty with his bounce, which makes playing him with a tennis ball even harder.

The self declared ‘best player’ in the tournament, Jones is an excellent wicketkeeper batsman who’s full of self belief. Having played on the MCG last year, the Kunyung Oval is a step up for Jones who’s always wanted to be on the big stage. Adam Gilchrist recently stated that “if he could only overcome his coke dealing problem, he might be a push for the Australian side”. Occasionally throws it when he bowls, however this is nothing compared to Upchurch, so it’ll hardly be noticed. Claims that his nickname is because every ball he faces will be like a highlights package, however insiders believe it’s because he bleach’s his hair.

A fan favourite, Graham has the ability to throw a tennis ball faster than a speeding bullet, bamboozle batsman with spin, and shout ‘no run’ very loudly. However, if he calls ‘wait’ you might be waiting for a very long time. Some in the media have compared his bowling style to John Howard, after a 22 ball over in the Red Hill thirds 10 years ago. While others have pointed out that no matter how important he is to the team setup, he’s most likely to forget that the competition is on. Keep an ear out for his cry of, “while you’re up”, which means he wants the other fielder to get the ball for him, or “sorry mate” when he inevitably breaks something (hopefully just the other teams resolve).

With the rare reputation of a handy bowler with a high IQ, Jungling is one to watch in this years cup. Although he may find it more difficult without the sloped bricks next to his garage, a trick he used to torment M. Drummond for years. One of his greatest cricket achievements was hitting the ball onto the road while playing scricket (cricket with a stick) at high school. He will be perceived as smug when saying “good attempt” or “bad luck” when bowling out opponents, but in reality he’s just being nice. Jungling’s best trait however is his keen eye for helping opponents with their technique mid match, with memorable advice such as “I’m not saying you’re doing it wrong, I’m just saying you don’t do it properly”.

A naturally gifted athlete, Bredin’s always wanted to pretend he was a cricketer. Jim Maxwell has been quoted claiming that “he was only selected because he’s the captain’s girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend”. This, however, is true. Competitors may notice that he has something to say about everything, especially if asked about the ergonomy and facade of the clubrooms. Filled with a personality similar to a puppy dog, Bredin should come in handy when fielding, as we’re playing with tennis balls. He has a tendency to dislike cricket when he goes out and we might not see him if the surfs up.

MCC’s American recruit plans to make cricket great again by hitting some scintillating dingers at this years cup. Whilst many believe from his nickname that he’s the next spin sensation, in reality Upchurch’s similarity to Murali comes from his ‘slightly’ bent elbow when bowling. Having been plucked from Little League baseball just two years ago, Upcurch was sent to Australia as part of the USA’s trade deal for Julian Assange. Whilst some believe he may be no-balled out of the game, the organisers have set a 12 ball limit. This should allow him to shine and impact some great plays in the field, and if he’s lucky, steal a base or two.

A seasoned backyard cricket competitor, Dunstan is MCC’s star recruit as he can bat, bowl and field. However, his selection was originally in doubt when he turned down the invitation. Although, his silence could have been because he doesn’t text back. Rumor has it that he won’t play ‘unless he’s batting first’ and if he doesn’t like the way he gets out, he’s taking the bat and ball and going home. While this was effective when he was seven, it shouldn’t be as effective now, as there are multiple bats and balls on matchday. A fierce competitor, he will be looking forward to taking a victory into the YMCA cricket season, where his biggest rival S. Forster plays, although he’s on the record stating that if Forster gets him out, he’s sacking him.