Moondah Player Profiles and Selection for 2022

A bombshell on the eve of the 2022 Kunyung Cup with 2019 star Jack Dunstan being dropped. First gamer Billy Forgaty comes in in an attempt to fill the void, as Moondah Cricket Club look to defend their title.

Known for his ability to see ahead, due to his height, Drummond has been convinced that the weather will be okay and the sun will stay out. But, ‘we’ll see’. A key figure at the club, seeing as he founded it, his bowling will be a big asset on the weekend. Although, he may be a bit lost during the game as he will be separated from Beau for a whole day. Some were thinking that he would even try and have the day revolve around one of his films. He has also been jumping at shadows lately, as he’s expecting a phone call at any moment informing him that he’s no longer captain. But would this phase him? Probably not, as he could always start up a fake cricket tournament where he gets to be captain.

If you’re in this man’s vicinity, watch out. Prepare to be flattened, confused or taken advantage of, especially when you hear his common cry of “while you’re up…”. Graham left Red Hill due to his constant interactions with Jacob Mehrtens reminding him of his horror over in the 2019 Cup. Hungover on his wedding day, Graham has relaxed his no drinking before a game rule, as he says that it doesn’t impact his ability to have a good day. His now wife would disagree. There are tensions in his team, with Graham unsure on what team he is on, while also not remembering who Billy was after spending three days with him hiking around Wilsons Prom. People are unsure whether he will turn up for the Cup as only last week he thought that the event was in January (you just can’t make these things up).

After his recent wonder goal at the Jindi Cup, where scored from a goal kick, Breden was selected to represent Spain at this year’s FIFA world cup. However, due to scheduling conflicts with the Kunyung Cup, he declined the invitation. Known for his meticulous attention to detail, Bredin has recently been waterboarding himself whilst sleeping. A clever ploy, as this will give him an edge over the competition if it rains this weekend. His loud and confident calls when running between the wickets is a well known trait, which may be why local shops have noted an increase in sales for earmuffs. He is reportedly disappointed that Heliskiing isn’t being incorporated in this year’s Cup.

After moving away to the end of the earth (just outside Geelong), not much news of the doings of Kurt Jungling has come to pass. This has led to the speculation that he’s become a secret agent. With comments like ‘I’ve got to get back to base’ making James Graham think that he’s clearly part of the special forces. There are rumours that, as there have been no other suspicious behaviours, that he is investigating Graham himself. But this aside, he’s a man to be reckoned with if in the right mood. Watch out if he brings his own custom made bat, and will be looking to use his patented sledge of “shut up you rubbish bin”.

Having recently been described as the Mason Cox of Australian Cricket, a player with lots of potential. They have quite a few similarities, one that he is from the USA and another that he is having a crack at a sport he knows nothing about because why the hell not. Upchurch has bleached his hair blond in the hopes that he’ll be able to bowl a flipper, many suspect that he may now also start eating pepperoni pizza, smoking some fags and chugging endless cans of beer. While this may be seen by some as concerning behaviour, others are becoming impressed seeing it as a commitment to getting the best out of himself.

Jones is known for finishing a match as quickly as he finishes a can of coke. His six to win the game in 2019 was a key reason he declared himself ‘man of the match’. At an unofficial ceremony, Jones lamented to anyone that would listen about how finishing the game robbed him of a ton, however he has been denying that it has been eating him up inside for three years. He was sent on a scouting trip to watch Ranelagh’s captain play in club cricket, but was told off for not sledging him enough and allowing him to get into form. Jones has reportedly then claimed that he has a sore back too, just to get back into his captain’s good books.

A fine addition to the team, after the shock sacking of Dunstan. His captain loves him after it only took half an hour to confirm he was playing. Fogarty has a great rapport with his teammates, especially as he remembers who Jimma is. There have been claims that he is only being selected so that the captain can get a better KK present from him this year, however this seems to be baseless nonsense. Moondah’s captain couldn’t be contacted though as he was trying out a mysterious new car that had arrived. Police were seen at Fogarty’s house after a suspicious present was left outside his front door from someone initialed by JD. Whether this affects his performance, only time will tell.